Aaj ke daur mein har shakhs chahta hai ke woh mazboot ho, lekin asal mazbooti sirf jismani taqat ka naam nahi. Insaan ki asal quwwat us waqt samne aati hai jab woh mushkil halaat mein apne jazbaat par qabu rakhe, soch samajh kar faisla kare aur doosron ke rawaiye se apna sukoon mutasir na hone de. Bohat se log mehnat to karte hain, lekin sirf mehnat hamesha kamyabi aur andarooni quwwat ke liye kafi nahi hoti. Kuch aise nafsiati usool bhi hain jo insaan ki shakhsiyat, faislon aur talluqat par gehra asar daalte hain.
Dr. Asad Mahmood ke mutabiq agar insaan in bunyadi usoolon ko samajh le aur apni rozmarrah zindagi mein amal karna shuru kar de to us ki soch mein wazeh tabdeeli aa sakti hai. Woh logon ko behtar samajhne lagta hai, apne faislon mein zyada ehtiyat karta hai aur apni izzat aur sukoon ki hifazat karna seekhta hai.
Sab se pehla usool hai ke kam bolain aur zyada sunain. Allah ne insaan ko aik munh aur do kaan diye hain, aur is mein aik gehra sabaq bhi hai. Aksar hum apni baat sabit karne, apni kamyabi bayan karne ya doosron ko apne mansubay batane mein itna masroof ho jate hain ke samne wale ki baat sunna bhool jate hain.
Kam bolne ka matlab yeh nahi ke aap har waqt khamosh rahain ya kisi se baat hi na karein. Is ka matlab yeh hai ke har baat kehna zaroori nahi hota. Har sawal ka tafseeli jawab dena bhi zaroori nahi hota. Jab aap kam bolte hain to aap apne alfaaz par behtar qabu rakhte hain aur ghusse, jazbaat ya jaldbaazi mein aisi baat kehne se bach jate hain jis ka baad mein afsos ho.
Doosri taraf, jab aap zyada sunte hain to aap ko logon ko samajhne ka mauqa milta hai. Aap un ki soch, niyyat, aadat aur rawaiye ko qareeb se dekh sakte hain. Kabhi kabhi insaan apni zuban se woh baat keh deta hai jo us ke asal irade ko zahir kar deti hai. Is liye jo shakhs tawajjo se sunta hai woh aksar un baton ko bhi samajh leta hai jo alfaaz mein nahi kahi jatin.
Maloomat aik badi quwwat hai. Jitna aap sun kar samajhte hain, utna hi aap behtar faisla kar sakte hain. Is ke baraks agar aap har waqt bolte rahain to mumkin hai aap apni kamzori, apne irade aur apne mansubay doosron ke samne khud hi zahir kar dein. Is liye har mehfil mein sab se zyada bolne wala shakhs zaroori nahi ke sab se zyada samajhdar bhi ho.
Doosra aham usool yeh hai ke apni har baat har shakhs ke samne bayan na karein. Har shakhs ko aap ki zindagi, kamyabi, mushkilat, maal, talluqat ya mustaqbil ke mansubon ke bare mein jaanne ki zaroorat nahi hoti.
Aaj kal log apni zindagi ka bohat bara hissa doosron ke samne zahir kar dete hain. Social media par har choti bari kamyabi, har safar, har naya mansuba aur kabhi kabhi zaati masail tak share kiye jate hain. Lekin apni zaati maloomat ko mehfooz rakhna bhi aik hikmat hai.
Jab aap apni har baat doosron ko batate hain to aap ko har shakhs ki niyyat ka ilm nahi hota. Koi aap ki baat ko samajh kar aap ki madad kar sakta hai, lekin koi doosra usi maloomat ko aap ke khilaf bhi istemal kar sakta hai. Is liye har baat chhupana nahi, balkeh yeh samajhna zaroori hai ke kis shakhs ko kya batana hai aur kis waqt batana hai.
Kuch raaz apne paas rakhna kamzori nahi balki danai hai. Aap ke kuch khwab, kuch mansubay aur kuch zaati maamlaat sirf aap ke liye reh sakte hain. Jab aap apni tawajjo doosron ki rai se hata kar apne maqsad par rakhte hain to aap ke liye apne raste par qaim rehna asaan ho jata hai.
apna agla qadam har kisi ko pehle se na batain
Teesra usool yeh hai ke apna agla qadam har kisi ko pehle se na batain. Zindagi mein kai martaba aisa hota hai ke hum kisi naye kaam ka mansuba banate hain aur foran us ke bare mein logon ko batana shuru kar dete hain. Humein lagta hai ke doosron ko apne mansube batane se humein hausla milega, lekin har martaba aisa nahi hota.
Jab aap apne agle qadam ki tafseel pehle hi sab ko bata dete hain to doosron ko aap ke irade ka pata chal jata hai. Kuch log aap ki madad karenge, lekin kuch log tanqeed, mayoosi ya rukawat paida kar sakte hain. Kabhi kisi ki aik manfi baat bhi aap ke andar shak paida kar deti hai.
Is liye behtar tareeqa yeh hai ke zaroorat ke mutabiq apna mansuba sirf un logon se share karein jo waqai aap ke bharose ke qabil hon. Baqi logon ko jawab dene ke bajaye apne amal par tawajjo dein.
Khamoshi se mehnat karein aur apne nataij ko bolne dein. Jab kaam mukammal ho jata hai to us ka nateeja khud aik daleel ban jata hai. Aik shakhs jo har waqt apni kamyabi ka elan karta rahe, zaroori nahi ke woh waqai kamyab ho. Is ke baraks jo shakhs chup chap apne maqsad ki taraf barhta rahe, us ki kamyabi aksar zyada mazboot hoti hai.
Chautha usool yeh hai ke kisi par andha aitmad na karein. Aitmad talluqat ki bunyad ho sakta hai, lekin aitmad dene se pehle kisi shakhs ke rawaiye aur amal ko samajhna zaroori hai. Sirf meethi baaton, qareebi talluq ya chand achay lamhon ki bunyad par kisi shakhs ko apna poora bharosa dena kabhi kabhi nuqsan ka sabab ban sakta hai.
Insaan ko samajhne ke liye waqt aik behtareen kasauti hai. Waqt ke sath pata chal jata hai ke kaun mushkil waqt mein aap ke sath khara hota hai aur kaun sirf apne faide ke waqt qareeb hota hai. Isi tarah yeh bhi samne aa jata hai ke kaun aap ki kamyabi se khush hota hai aur kaun aap ki taraqqi dekh kar andar se pareshan hota hai.
Is ka matlab yeh nahi ke aap har shakhs par shak karna shuru kar dein. Har shakhs ko bad-niyyat samajhna bhi sehatmand rawaiya nahi. Behtar yeh hai ke aitmad dheere dheere banaya jaye. Kisi ke alfaaz ke bajaye us ke musalsal amal ko dekhein.
Agar koi shakhs baar baar apna rawaiya badalta hai, aap ki zaati baat doosron tak pohanchata hai ya sirf apne faide ke waqt aap ko yaad karta hai to aap ko us ke sath aitmad ki had muqarrar karni chahiye. Aitmad dena achi sifat hai, lekin apni aqal ko band kar dena aitmad nahi hota.
Paanchwa aur nihayat aham usool yeh hai ke apni hudood muqarrar karein aur apne usoolon par qaim rahain. Bohat se log doosron ko khush karne ke liye apni hadain tod dete hain. Woh har baat bardasht karte hain, har kisi ke liye dastiyab rehte hain aur na kehne se darte hain. Dheere dheere un ka apna sukoon aur izzat mutasir hone lagti hai.
Mazboot shakhs woh nahi jo har cheez bardasht karta rahe. Mazboot shakhs woh hai jo janta ho ke kis jagah rukna hai aur kis jagah wazeh taur par kehna hai ke yeh baat mere liye qabool nahi.
Na kehna badtameezi nahi hoti. Agar koi aap ke waqt ka ghalat faida utha raha hai, aap ki zaati hudood ki khilaf warzi kar raha hai ya baar baar aap ki izzat ko nuqsan pohancha raha hai to aap ko apni had wazeh karni chahiye.
Hudood ka maqsad doosron ko saza dena nahi hota. In ka maqsad apne waqt, sukoon, izzat aur jazbati sehat ki hifazat karna hota hai. Jab aap apni hudood wazeh kar dete hain to log bhi dheere dheere samajhne lagte hain ke aap ke sath kis tarah ka rawaiya ikhtiyar karna hai.
Asal quwwat shor mein nahi hoti. Asal quwwat khamoshi, hikmat, sabr aur apne nafs par qabu mein hoti hai. Aik mazboot shakhs ko har baat ka foran jawab dene ki zaroorat mehsoos nahi hoti. Woh janta hai ke har jang larne ke qabil nahi hoti aur har tanqeed ka jawab dena bhi zaroori nahi.
Kabhi kabhi khamosh rehna hi sab se behtar jawab hota hai. Jab koi aap ko nazarandaz kare, aap ki qadar na kare ya aap ko jaan boojh kar pareshan karne ki koshish kare to foran jazbati faisla karne ke bajaye thora rukna behtar hai. Apne aap se poochein ke kya yeh maamla waqai itni tawajjo ka mustahiq hai?
Isi tarah jab aap kisi mushkil surat-e-haal ka samna kar rahe hon to foran har shakhs ke samne apna dukh bayan karne ke bajaye pehle apne aap ko sambhalein. Har shakhs aap ke dard ko samajhne wala nahi hota. Kuch log sirf maloomat hasil karne ke liye sawal karte hain. Is liye apni zaati zindagi ke darwaze har shakhs ke liye khol dena zaroori nahi.
In paanch usoolon ka maqsad insaan ko sakht-dil banana nahi hai. Maqsad yeh hai ke insaan apne jazbaat aur faislon par behtar qabu hasil kare. Aap narm dil reh kar bhi mazboot ho sakte hain. Aap doosron ki izzat karte hue bhi apni izzat ki hifazat kar sakte hain. Aap logon par aitmad karte hue bhi apni aqal ko istemal kar sakte hain.
Yaad rakhein, har shakhs ko khush rakhna aap ki zimmedari nahi. Har shakhs ko apni safai dena bhi zaroori nahi. Har shakhs ko apni zindagi ke bare mein tafseel dena bhi lazim nahi. Aap ki sab se bari zimmedari apne kirdar, apne sukoon aur apne maqsad ki hifazat karna hai.
Jab aap kam bolna, zyada sunna, zaroori baatein mehfooz rakhna, apne agle qadam ko posheeda rakhna, soch samajh kar aitmad karna aur apni hudood ki hifazat karna seekh lete hain to aap ki shakhsiyat mein aik gehri pukhtagi paida hoti hai.
Phir aap doosron ke rawaiye se itni jaldi mutasir nahi hote. Kisi ka jawab na dena aap ka sukoon nahi cheenta. Kisi ki tanqeed aap ko apne maqsad se door nahi karti. Kisi ki na-pasand aap ki apni qeemat kam nahi karti.
Asal quwwat yahi hai ke insaan apni qeemat ko doosron ki rai se alag kar le. Aap ki qeemat is baat se tay nahi hoti ke kitne log aap ko pasand karte hain, kitne log aap ko tawajjo dete hain ya kitne log aap ki tareef karte hain. Aap ki asal qeemat aap ke kirdar, usool, mehnat aur apne aap par qabu se hoti hai.
Is liye agar aap apni zehni aur jazbati quwwat ko behtar banana chahte hain to in usoolon ko sirf parhein nahi, balkeh dheere dheere apni zindagi ka hissa banayein. Kam bolain, zyada samjhein. Har baat zahir na karein. Apne mansubon ko waqt se pehle aam na karein. Aitmad soch samajh kar dein. Aur sab se barh kar apni hudood aur apni izzat ki hifazat karein.
Jab insaan bahar ki duniya ko qaboo karne ke bajaye apne andar ki duniya ko samajhna shuru kar deta hai to us ki soch badalti hai. Isi badli hui soch se behtar faisle paida hote hain, aur behtar faislon se zindagi ka rukh badal sakta hai. Asal quwwat kisi doosre ko harane mein nahi, balkeh apne nafs, apne jazbaat aur apni kamzori par qabu hasil karne mein hai.
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